So you didn't have a valentine ------

 

I didn't write this, I wish I had, Rude Jokes for over 20's did. 

I am now blissfully seven months single and loving every peaceful, non critical, non judgemental, non emotionally abusive moment. 

Ask any woman who has got out of an oppressive relationship with a man, and she will say the same thing - never again. How long that never again lasts for, depends on the misery she endured during the relationship.

Me, I'm in the never, never, never, will I be romantically involved ever, ever, ever again group of women. To say my marriage was a bad mistake would be an understatement. I realised early on that the man snoring next to me was not the man I thought he was. Two young kids at a time when child care facilities were practically nonexistent, left me with the decision to wait it out and hope things would get better, they never did.

This Valentine's day was the first one I spent in forty four years without a nob in my life. 

If you are in mourning for the man who walked out on you when you thought he was the love of your life, think of his departure as a lucky escape. He walked out on you, lady he weren't no good for you, otherwise he would have stayed. 

If there was no man in your life in the first place, this article is  even more relevant to you - if it makes you think before you leap into a potential disaster of relationship for the sake of having a relationship.

Ask yourself, what is so great about having a man in my life? 

Did your past hero do any of these?

1 - Bring you flowers. Flowers rarely come without a hidden agenda. Flowers generally speaking mean he has something to apologise for. 

2 - Watch something on TV you like instead of a football match, without moaning and fidgeting throughout the whole program?

3 - Choose a night in with you, and not go on his usual night out with his 'mates' to the pub? Did he buy a bottle of wine for you both to enjoy together and forget about the male bonding going on somewhere else? 

4 - Did he remember your birthday in time to choose you a thoughtful gift, and not something he grabbed from a shop on the way over?

5 - I could go on but I think I'll stop here with the biggy - the one thing women are often let down by. Did he wait for you to come before he did? And did he actually managed to give you a orgasm? Or did you like most women, fake your orgasm to please your man? Never a good thing to dent the male pride in his prowess - better to wait until he is asleep and do a the job for yourself. 

Women are not immune to pride - it's why some of us are so willing to inflict ourselves with a substandard partner. When everyone you know has a partner and you don't it sets you out from the group. 

Don't be afraid of being alone. Alone doesn't have to mean lonely. Neither does not having a man in your life mean you are lacking in some way. You are still beautiful, still funny, still great to be with, you don't need a man to show off how brilliant you are, you can do that for yourself.

How many woman trapped in relationships would dearly love a single woman's lifestyle? I'm guessing more than their single counterparts realise.

And lifestyle it is. It is freedom. It is not being dependent on another person for your happiness. Only you can make yourself happy. Co-dependency - is nothing more than throwing away the power you hold in your own life. 

You deserve so much more than leaning on another person to fulfill you. It's also not fair on the other person, who may not wish or not be capable of taking on the responsibility, for someone else.

It's important to stand in your own power and not throw away your independence only to regret it later on.

And if not regretting means spending St Valentine's day with a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates you bought for yourself - then it's worth it.

Next Valentine's day you might still be single - look on the bright side you're still not with a nob.