G - is for a grrrrreat sex life.

All women need a fulfilling sex life. No matter if you are young or not so young, sexual satisfaction is still important. No girl wants a boring sex  life.  

Being in a relationship, doesn't mean you are sexually fulfilled.

I was married to my first husband for 7 years – and in all that time he failed to bring me to an orgasm. I faked having an orgasm, many times, but never actually got one. 

When I finally discovered orgasms, as you can imagine, that first orgasm, was explosive. As all good orgasms should be.

I come from a generation that was very naive about sex. I remember my mother telling me before I was going to have a medical examination at school, “If they ask you, if you know the facts of life. Say yes.”

I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. And she refused to explain herself to me. I was 12 at the time. Periods was something else that was a taboo subject for her.

I learnt about sex from my very sexually ignorant school friends. With our limited knowledge, and zilch help in getting contraception, it was no wonder so many of us got pregnant, including myself. I married my boyfriend, but a good friend of mine nearly died from having an abortion, this was at a time when abortion was illegal.

Thankfully, today sex is more openly talked about. And young woman are much more sexually aware than my poor generation.

Being sexually aware, doesn't mean sexually satisfied.

The majority of women do not climax from penetration. No matter how big the penis. The chances are that a man's penis isn't in the right place! 

  
For all the good a penis does, you might as well get screwed by a banana!

How come? Well, a woman has a little button of pleasure inside her vagina. It's called the G-spot.

And the only way for a woman to have an orgasm, is by rubbing this little pleasure button until you come.

Maybe that's why Lesbians have a much higher percentage of orgasms than heterosexual women. 

Lesbians know about the G-spot – because both parties to the sexual act, have one. 

The most common sexual position, the missionary, when it comes to fulfilling a woman's sexual needs, is not up to the job. Up down, up down, doesn't cut it. An astonishing 80% of women have difficulty in achieving an orgasm from vaginal intercourse because the penis is giving indirect pressure, and not direct pressure, which is what your G-spot needs to achieve the much wanted orgasm.

Back in the 60's when I was a young woman, masturbation was something else no one talked about, other than to tell boys they would go blind if they did it. 

The benefits of sexual fulfilment shouldn't be underestimated. Everybody needs it. And I mean everybody. Young, old, straight, gay, a woman is no different from a man when it comes to the satisfaction derived from a sexually fulfilling adult relationship. Even if that relationship, is with herself.

Statistically, married women, and single women who are in a committed relationship are more emotionally relaxed, and able to function better in a social environment. Not sure I agree with this – as like many statistics, it is open to debate. That said, a study by the National Health and Social Life Survey, got results that women in committed partnerships tended to be happier with their sex lives. Although those women had sex less frequently, and did not engage in oral sex, as much as their single counterparts, and were less likely to have an orgasm, they were emotionally more satisfied with their sex life than women who were dating.

Casual sex, it seems, is not as enjoyable for women, as it is for men.

If a single woman doesn't have sex on tap with a partner – and she's not interested in a 'one night stand', and she doesn't want to be in a long-term relationship - what's a girl to do?

Well, apparently, masturbation is good for you. It is, after all, the safest sex you can have. No risk of STDs or unwanted babies. And if you have found your G-spot – you are guaranteed to have a stress relieving orgasm. And if you are on your period, masturbation can help relieving the cramps.

Another statistic – we women are usually more shy than men in the bedroom.

It comes down to the simple reason that women just don't have male bravado – and it can stop them getting the sexual satisfaction they crave, simply because they are too shy to tell their partner what they want.

Woman on woman sex, again gets the thumbs up when it comes to having a better time in bed than having straight sex with a man. We are less shy about sex with women than we are with men. Not really a surprise.

The quickest way to sexual satisfaction – is know the erogenous zones on your body. If you are comfortable being in a relationship with your lover, there is no reason why you should hold back when telling your partner what pleases you sexually. 

Check out your G-spot, so you can show your partner where it is, and what you want him to do with it. An overenthusiastic lover is not going to bring you to a climax, merely make you sore. A gentle, patient lover – will ease you to an orgasm. Penetrative sex immediately after you have climaxed, can give you a second orgasm as your G-spot is already primed and ready to go.

A man's orgasm limit is about two, (no matter if they brag about being able to have more), before the poor dear needs a rest or another Viagra pill. 

However, us girls, can have multiple orgasms. Yay! One of the few times women have the advantage over men.

Dating apps have expanded their client base since  first appearing on the internet. No longer the domain of the heterosexual young, dating apps now cater for every type of sexually active adult. This means there is more older women on the sexual scene than ever before.

Making a male partner wear a condom does not interfere with the female orgasm. And even if you are long past menopause, the use of a condom is still essential, as STDs are on the increase among the older single generation.

With age comes experience, and inhibitions. Inhibitions built up over years of an unsatisfactory love life need to be broken down. And according to research, the older you get the better your orgasms are.

If you don't have a positive opinion of yourself when you are fully clothed, you won't feel any better undressed. After a break-up there is a good chance you are suffering from low self-esteem. Whatever the reason for you now being single, your confidence is going to take an emotional knock, especially if the break-up wasn't your idea.

There's a lot you can do to change this.

#1 You need to dump the fear of how you look. There's nothing stopping you going on a diet and getting more exercise, but that's not going to help you in the 'here and now' situation. The thing stopping you from enjoying a sex life, is your own self.

Okay, you have a few more pounds, and more wrinkles than you'd like. If the new man in your life has taken the trouble to get to know you, asked you for a date, and now wants to make love to you, then he's not going to expect the perfect female form. He's obviously attracted to you, and that means all your flaws as well. So relax and enjoy his affection.

#2 Be comfortable in your surroundings. If you trust the person, and are happy to be with him in your home, you have the advantage on being on your own, 'turf'. It's important to feel safe and secure when you are being intimate with someone for the first time. If you are in an unfamiliar place, you are not going to be as at ease, as you would be in a familiar place. Being content and relaxed in your environment will help relax you in the bedroom.

#3 Find your inner goddess. She was there when you were young, so there's no reason to suppose she's not still there inside you. Find her. Unleash her.

If you find it hard to tell your new partner what you want, then don't say anything. Place his hand where you want it to be. Show him by touch how you want him to caress you. Once you overcome your initial shyness, and you have released your inner sex goddess, you will be ready to enjoy a fulfilling sexual experience.

#4 Don't expect sex to be love. Men see sex for what it is. An enjoyable pastime between to consenting adults. Young women want to fall in love, get married, have children, you've done that. Now you are on to the divorce. Do you really want to go down that route again? If the answer is a firm – no. Then think like a man – enjoy sex, but don't expect a serious relationship.

#5 Throw away the emotional baggage leftover from your previous, unsuccessful relationship. If your past partner was out to hurt you emotionally, then whatever he said to you, should never be thought of as gospel. Anger, resentment, fear of going it alone, and all the other feelings that come with a divorce, means the person on the other side of your now dead relationship, will want to protect their own self-esteem by trying to pull yours down. Don't let them. Ignore any negative comments they have to say about you. Those comments are coming from hurt. Even if you are not the one who wants to break-up, your ex-other half, will often try and justify his actions by blaming you, instead of the real person who is to blame – himself. Let go of the past – hanging on to it, is just too toxic. Stay in the present.

#6 Build on your confidence. It may have taken a knock, but it's still there. Take your new found sexual freedom slowly. Don't be in a rush to get sex right. If you are not enjoying the experience, then change the way you approach it. Whatever you do, don't let a sexual partner tell you, you are no good at sex. There is no right or wrong way about the way you engage in sex. It's your way. If your new man starts to criticise you in bed, then show him the door, and fast, he's out to build his own confidence at your expense.

One of the most important things you can do for yourself, is to make yourself sexy, for yourself.

When you take pride in how you look, and knowing you look good to others, will automatically give your ego a boost.

Always think of yourself in a positive way. Definitely don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. You are - who you are. That is all that should matter to you. You can never be the same as someone else because you are unique. 

Taking a positive attitude applies to the people you mix with. Negative people will, intentionally or unintentionally pull you down to their way of thinking. Stick to friends who lift you up.

It may take awhile for you to re-engage with the confidence you once had. So, take your time. There's no need to rush, you'll get there in the end.

Paranormal Fantasy Books

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