Signs you are dealing with an energy vampire.
After several weeks of lockdown together, have you come to the realisation that your partner is no longer the person you want to share your life with? Why? Because not fully seeing the bad behaviour of your partner, only works if you spend time away from each other. There are several different types of unacceptable behavioral patterns that certain personality types inflict on the people they say they love. Once your eyes are opened to the darker side of your partner's personality, it is impossible to close them again. There is, however, a good side to finding out you are entangled in a relationship with an emotional vampire. With your eyes now wide open, you can leave that relationship behind.
The Emotional Vampire, is one of the most insidious personality types, simply because they are so good at manipulation, by using your fears and insecurities against you.
An emotional vampire feeds not on blood, but on the negativity they create. Draining you of your life's force as efficiently as the blood sucking type. Like all vampires, they hide in shadows. Unfortunately, you can't ward an emotional vampire off with a string of garlic hung around your neck.
Emotional vampires don't accept their faults. They are blame shifters - blaming everyone but themselves for what's wrong in their lives. Some are easy to recognise - others not so easy. If you've ever had a relationship with an emotional vampire, you'll know what I'm talking.
An EV will use the excuse of loving you to control you. Control is not love.
So what to look out for?
The - I - Me - Myself sign. People who not interested in knowing about you, but only want to tell you all about themselves. They will go on and on about their interests, about the things they like, and always assume that what they have to say, is way more important than what others have to say.
EV's, love to hear the sound of their own voice - they have zip interest in listening to anyone else. An inability to listen others makes emotional vamps, rubbish friends This type of personality is completely self-absorbed, loves to criticise, assumes they know best, and will manipulate to have things go their way.
If you need a shoulder to cry on - you won't find one with this type of personality. Talking about their problems matters to them - your problems count for nothing.
A sure sign you are dealing with a toxic personality, is their love of criticizing - and using put downs to emphasize their sense of self-importance. Try doing the same to them and you will be met with an angry response. As they saying goes - they can give it - but they can't take it.
The blame game is something EV's use to great advantage. They simply will not take responsibility for their self absorbed actions - it's never their fault. No matter how many times you tell an emotional vampire they are in the wrong - they simply won't accept it.
For an emotionally controlling personality, there is only one right way of doing things. Their way. "That's not the way to do it. You should do it this way" - is a common phrase. In other words - "You are useless - and only I know how to do it properly."
Rarely, if ever, will an emotional vampire give praise.
The - I - Me - Myself sign. People who not interested in knowing about you, but only want to tell you all about themselves. They will go on and on about their interests, about the things they like, and always assume that what they have to say, is way more important than what others have to say.
EV's, love to hear the sound of their own voice - they have zip interest in listening to anyone else. An inability to listen others makes emotional vamps, rubbish friends This type of personality is completely self-absorbed, loves to criticise, assumes they know best, and will manipulate to have things go their way.
If you need a shoulder to cry on - you won't find one with this type of personality. Talking about their problems matters to them - your problems count for nothing.
A sure sign you are dealing with a toxic personality, is their love of criticizing - and using put downs to emphasize their sense of self-importance. Try doing the same to them and you will be met with an angry response. As they saying goes - they can give it - but they can't take it.
The blame game is something EV's use to great advantage. They simply will not take responsibility for their self absorbed actions - it's never their fault. No matter how many times you tell an emotional vampire they are in the wrong - they simply won't accept it.
For an emotionally controlling personality, there is only one right way of doing things. Their way. "That's not the way to do it. You should do it this way" - is a common phrase. In other words - "You are useless - and only I know how to do it properly."
Rarely, if ever, will an emotional vampire give praise.
It's not easy unhooking yourself from the clutches of an emotional vampire.
The answer is to not get involved with an emotional vampire in the first place, but if you have, then here's some ideas on how to counter the negative emotions they force on you.
The answer is to not get involved with an emotional vampire in the first place, but if you have, then here's some ideas on how to counter the negative emotions they force on you.
Recognizing you are in an unhealthy relationship is the first step. Recognition enables you to decided whether the relationship is worth continuing with, and if it's not, then knowing you are in a worthless relationship makes it easier to say goodbye. If ending the relationship is difficult, then play them at their own game.
There are several types of personality that drain your emotional energies -
The Narcissist - is hungry for admiration - will be charming until their spot in the limelight is threatened, then they become an enemy. Don't get angry, instead, find something in them that you can admire, and praise them for it, whilst tiptoeing backwards from knowing them.
The Victim - feels that the world is against them. Don't get pulled into their self-pity, and don't try being their therapist.
The Controller - believes they are right about everything and their way is the best way of doing anything. Don't accept this - and be confident in yourself. We all have different ideas that suit us in handling situations. Basically agree to disagree.
The Constant Critic - it is not difficult to deal with this type of negative person. Don't take what they say personally, and don't get defensive. If they actually make a good point, say so. If on the other hand their criticism is for the sake of criticizing - ignore and move on.
The Ghoster - we have all read about celebrities who make friends to further their careers, then blank them, as if they didn't exist, when they are no longer needed. If you fall prey to this type of behaviour - count yourself lucky they are no longer in your life - and again - move on.
The Drama Queen - The unpredictable nature of a drama queen makes it extremely unpleasant when on the receiving end of a tantrum, especially if the tantrum is about something trivial that was completely out of your control. The only thing to do is keep calm and refuse to get pulled into the drama.
Long term exposure to someone else's negativity can be soul destroying. Often dragging you down into changing your perception of life from a glass half-full to a glass half-empty. Toxic emotional exposure often results in mental exhaustion due to the constant need to tread on verbal eggshells, in case you say the wrong thing. This is not a proper relationship. It is an emotional prison sentence. Under these circumstance, the best thing you can do, is close the door on your way out.
This short YouTube clip - Getting rid of Energy Vampires - by Natalie Sisson, is only 3.54 minutes long, but worth watching, as she has great ideas on how to help you get rid of the emotional suckers in your life.
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