Living on the river - Christmas lights and open warfare

 

Christmas is a time of goodwill and joy to all, unless that is, you are a boater who has entered the marina's  Christmas lights competition. The first place prize for this contest? You and your boat's picture in the Towpath Magazine, and some goodies from the chandlery. The real prize? Beating your neighbours into first place. The battle to win is like Trafalgar all over again, but without the French.

No one took the Christmas lights competition as seriously as Dougie and Ben. Each year their display got more lavish.

For the previous three years they were awarded 1st place, being beaten into second place was not an option. Then the unthinkable happened - newcomers who took winning as seriously as Dougie and Ben arrived in the residential moorings. They were the Admiral Pierre de Villenuve to Dougie and Ben's Admiral Nelson. War was declared. Much to the enjoyment of the rest of us who saw the competition as a bit of fun to lighten the dark nights. Rivalry between two warring competitors, an added bonus. 

Whilst Dougie and Ben went for an over the top lavish display of bow to stern multiple strings of coloured lights, in various shapes and sizes, their rivals took a more tasteful approach. 

The morning of the judging Dougie and Ben's giant inflatable snowman mysteriously developed a puncture. Sabotage was suspected, and retaliation plotted, but not carried out. Too late to buy a new one, they had to make do with a giant inflatable Santa, two equally large reindeer and an enormous Christmas tree. To say their display was over the top, is an understatement - dog's dinner was muted around the mooring and bet's placed as to whether you could see the lights from space. 

The 'enemy' didn't have any inflatables, they chose a silver and blue display of white LED rope lights and a pure white Christmas tree decorated with blue and silver baubles. 

The marina manager wandered around for over an hour looking at the displays, whilst writing furiously on her clipboard. She announced her decision would be posted that afternoon on the marina notice board in the chandlery.

Dougie and Ben confident they would win planned a celebration party. Their rivals, were not invited.

That afternoon a small crowd, gathered for the results. The majority of us were there not to see if we had won, none of us expected to, but to see the reactions of the 'fighting four'. We were not let down. Neither Dougie and Ben or their rivals won.

The angry shouts of 'it's a fix' and 'we were robbed' were finally quelled by the offer of sherry and mince pies by the marina manager's PA.

To smooth things over, each got a mention, Dougie and Ben for the most lavish display and the opposing team, for being very tasteful.

The winner?  A boat from the more expensive moorings on the marina won. To be fair it was a nice display, did it deserve to win? Being the judge of any competition is always subjective, and in my opinion a hazardous occupation.

Dougie and Ben, joined forces with their rivals.  A delegation of four charged into the manager's office demanding a re-run. The manager, smart woman, had gone home for the day and wouldn't be returning until after the holidays. 

Now comrades in arms at the injustice of a boat from the 'posh' moorings getting unfair treatment to win the coveted 1st prize, Dougie and Ben invited their rivals to the party and after several bottles of wine, declared each other join winners. The following year? The marina quietly dropped the idea of a Christmas lights competition, going for a glass of sherry and a mince pie gathering in the chandlery instead. 

  

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