are you living with a slob or a neat-freak?

It seems to me that men in general do not have an inbetween mode when it comes to housework - they are either a slob or a neat freak. Both types are equally irritating to live with. 

One does bugger all - the other never stops picking up after you. Okay a clean house is a much better than a shit hole, but not when you live with someone who is constantly reminding you that he has just vacuumed the carpet, should you dare to drop a morsel of the snack you were eating. In between wiping the surfaces you just put a cup on or depending on how annoying he is, a wine glass, the neat-freak has a unique ability to make the a woman feel slovenly if she does not share his passion.

The Neat Freak - 

The way I see it, is, you have four choices to deal with your neat freak - 

Choice one - if the place you share is yours - boot him out. Bye babe and don't come back.

Choice two - if the place is his, leave. Bye babe, I'm not coming back.

Choice three - look on the bright side of this relationship - you do not have to do housework and you have someone picking up after you. Okay - yeah it can get tiresome all that dusting and having to lift your feet up when you are relaxing on the sofa as he vacuums the carpet underneath you. When it's your turn to cook, you get takeaways because you make (deliberately) too much mess in the kitchen: when it's his turn he makes wonderfully nutritious and fabulously toothsome meals because like everything, the neat freak believes no one, including restaurants, can cook as well as he can.

A live-in housekeeper, chef and financial contributor is not to be sneezed at. And of course, if he's good in bed, then that's the deciding factor - he's a keeper.

Choice four - not the best choice I reserve that for choice number three.

There is an old saying - if you can't beat them, join them. This choice has an obvious downside to it, you are going to have to - a) be neat and tidy at all times.

b) do your fair share of household chores. 

The Slob -

Choices one and two are the same as for the neat freak. 

Choice three - grit your teeth and keep clearing up after the a-hole.

Choice four - Become a slob yourself and see whether he actually likes living in a constant state of mess.

Then there is choice five - this choice may not suit everyone, but I am sure there are a lot of women who will think it a good idea. 

Choice five - a Menage a trois - in other words find yourself a neat freak and suggest to your slob that you want a new man about the house to move in with you.

The advantages to this arrangement you can point out are obvious - Slob continues to be a slob. You will stop constantly asking him to clear up after himself, thus allowing him to continue with his slovenly habits. This suggestion should be emphasized with excited enthusiasm in order to make it clear to slob, things have to change. Tell him, continuing the theme of excited enthusiasm with full force, that when he is too tired to give you the sexual satisfaction you desire, neat freak can take over doing this as well.  

Choice number five, can either be a ploy on your part to get your slob to smarten up his act or a good idea you would actually consider- either way it has a fair chance of working.

Slob is likely not to want to go with the idea of neat freak, doing the housework, no problem, taking over from him in the bedroom is very likely to be a non starter - male sexual pride and all that. 

If slob flatly refuses the idea of another man invading his territory and defends his slobbishness with the same enthusiasm as you  for a second sexual partner - my suggestion is boot out slob and  find yourself, if you can, a man who is neither one or the other and live happily ever after (possibly). 

If, like many women, you love your slob that's why he's there in the first place, and you can afford to - hire a cleaner. Oh and yes make sure he pays - if he moans at being expected to pay for someone other than you to clear up after him - then he's not in love with you. If a man loves you, he will want the best for you, lying on the sofa, watching you clean and clear whilst never lifting a finger to help, is not a man that has your best interests at heart and is not worth you wasting your time on. Hello choices one and two. 

Me? Hell I'm single and staying that way.